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Essay on Better Communication Skills
Recently I heard someone say, “Communication is easy” (McKay, 2003). I disagree. Talking is easy; communication, which means an exchange or communion with another, requires greater skill. An exchange that is a communion demands that we listen and speak skillfully, not just talk mindlessly. And interacting with fearful, angry, or frustrated people can be even more difficult, because we're less skillful when caught up in such emotions. Yet don't despair or resign yourself to a lifetime of miscommunication at work or home! Good communicators can be honed as well as born. Here are a few tips to get you started.
Don't take another person's reaction or anger personally, even if they lash out at you in what seems a personal manner. Another person's mood or response is more likely about fear or frustration than it is about you as an individual. Take a deep breath and count to 10, and see it as a way of letting the other person vent before he is able to communicate what's really on his mind.
You don't have to have all the answers. It's OK to say, I don't know. If you want to find out, say so, then follow up to share your findings. Or you may decide to work on the problem together to find the answer. Respond facts and feelings; don't react (feelings) e.g., Tell me more about your concern or I understand your frustration instead of Hey, I'm just doing my job or It's not my job which is sure to cause more irritation. Share responsibility for any communication in which you're a participant, and realize that sometimes, maybe often, your own personal reactions may be causing your frustrations about communicating with others.
Understand that people want to feel heard more than they care about whether you agree with them. It's strange how many people complain about others not hearing them, yet they don't listen to others either!....
