Addictions are present in almost all of us. Whether it's a chemical dependence, or simply talking on the phone, they can start to control your life before you can even realize what is happening. Just a couple of years ago, I had a problem peeling myself away from a certain activity. As odd as it may sound Sexual addiction, can be better defined if compared with other types of addicts. There is little difference between the voyeur waiting for hours by a window for forty seconds of nudity and the compulsive gambler hunching on a long shot. An alcoholic's relationship with alcohol becomes more important than family, friends, and work. The relationship progresses to the point where alcohol is necessary to feel normal.
To feel "normal" for the alcoholic is also to be lonely and isolated since the primary relationship he/she depends on is a chemical and not other people. Sexual addiction is parallel. In order for the sexual addict to feel "normal" he/she will substitute a sick relationship to an event or process for a healthy relationship with others. The addict's relationship with a mood altering experience becomes central to their life. They will be willing to jeopardize everything that they love. Sexual addicts progressively go through stages in which they go further away from reality of friends, and work. (Sherwin, 1959)
Their secret lives become more real than their public lives. Denial leads the list of ways addicts distort reality. They deny to themselves and others that they have a problem. Arguments, excuses, justifications, and circular reasoning abound in the addict's warped mental processes. Whatever the rationalization, it further cuts the addicts off from the reality of the behavior. The next stage is sex addicts go through is sincere delusion in which they will believe their own lies............
